Equations Of Life

How does one and one become two? If only all things were so simple as to just being the way it is. Complications arise out of actions that people make and sometimes I feel caught in the lies of my own thoughts. If only life were more obvious and less twisted.

I keep thinking about my life more often nowadays, and reminiscing the past. Nah, I'm not being nostalgic or any sort. Just more of assessing my time spent over the past 10 months. I can't seem to find a sense of real happiness or satisfaction in my life over the past year. I know that I have gained a lot of knowledge and abilities, and I have definitely known myself a whole lot better. But thinking through, is it enough? I don't want to keep feeling like there's this 'thing' in me that is trapped. I don't want to keep hiding, but fear is conquering me. I'm really beyond stressing myself with my 'deep' thoughts sometimes.

And not that it's related but work has been getting on my nerves sometimes. It's tough to hold a job, no matter how 'fun' and 'easy' it is. It sucks when you have to do routine stuff and feel bored to death in the store. I ain't complaining but it's just not as easy as it seems. I try my best to do well, I really do, but it's sometimes not enough. I find it hard sometimes to get use to things and fitting in to the environment isn't a breeze. I'm still learning, and have a long way more to go to becoming a good barista. :)

Smile more, and stay happy... Those are my encouragements to myself. Doesn't hurt to be praised every now and then. The feeling of appreciation goes a long way, doesn't make you feel used. I thank God that on Tuesday, during the launch of the Christmas promo in Starbucks, all went well. I did my manager proud by being knowledgeable to the products in front of the district manager :) You know the feeling when you are able to make someone happy and proud. I love that feeling, it's as if "Finally I did something! Something right..." it's just an awesome moment for me, and I'm proud of myself... I wanna be that guy that people see and know that he can do great things, that can be counted on and is useful, I want to be appreciated for the things I've done or for the effort I've put in to something :) What am I saying, I'm sure that's what everyone hopes to achieve... Right?

Keep looking :)

Some Things Just Aren't Right...

Going on and on and on about what my life can offer is really tense. I can't seem to find what is the right thing to do most of the time. Is it right if you aren't happy with what you are suppose to do? I want to be happy, who doesn't, but at what cost really? Now, I think I'm playing it safe most of the time, but somehow it's not really satisfying to just not let go and be truly real. A taste of real life is what I need.

Good part of things are, that I hardly have the laptop at home anymore. So I haven't been bumming in front of the screen. Although I have not accomplish my goal of cleaning my room and redecorating/refurnishing it. I should get to that. This week was a good rest period for me, working only three days and having the few days off... That's really great, cause I got to sleep in and laze around most of the time :)

On another note, I got paid yesterday!! Suddenly the numbers in my account doesn't seem so depressing :) I'm having the urge to spend T.T But self control... I shall only get the necessities :) Cramming it down to a pair of shoes (converse) , a pair of pants/jeans and a pair of shorts. If you're thinking that I have a lot of $$, think again... I don't and that's my list till the end of the year... Ok maybe I'll add in a couple of t-shirts :)

Well hopefully things will get better and I will be a whole lot more active doing something, instead of just bumming and lazing around...

Keep looking :)

Bored Outta My Socks...

OMG!!! How can life be so meaningless? T_T I think I'm going crazy with the emptiness of my life. So uninspiring, so unproductive... I'm not doing anything significant and most of the day I just sit around with crazy bored thoughts in my head. Why lar? Hmm... Well, I really need some activity in my days. I mean, it's not going to be forever that time is on my side. Right now, work is cool, I'm not being held up and it isn't taking up my time. But it's not fun when you get all this free time and just end up bumming around like some loser that has no life. T_T Help! I need some excitement, I need to do something! Soon!

Goal #1 : Get ass out of chair, away from the comp and out of the house.

Goal #2 : Get a life...

p/s: I'm loving free Starbucks Coffee everyday :)


Keep looking :)

Here We Go Again...

Ah, another weekend is here... I've been bumming around the house for the last 2 days, what a way to spend my first few days of the new month huh? Well, I can't say that I've fully hated the lazing around, but sitting at home the whole day is pretty tiring and it gets old. But of course I didn't just sit around not doing a single thing... I've been watching back-to-back episodes of the super awesome Coffee Prince :)



Yea, it's Korean drama, but hey, it's really entertaining. :) Ok, so by now you should know that I watch chick flicks a lot huh? But, who cares ;)

Life's been pretty good, but there are certain worries in my mind that I sometimes can't shake off. I mean, college recently has been on my mind, that and my future. And many other things, that just makes me really anxious and confused. Rolling around bed at night and having my thoughts running so freely is pretty tiring. And to make things worst, it's yet again another Saturday... That means another day spent in church with a group of overly energetic, stubborn & restless 13 year old's... I don't get it, why is it so hard for me to just call a quits? Why must the weighing of pros and cons be so tedious and detailed? Can't I just not do something because I've lost interest and heart? I'm suffering, don't you know? But then again, what matters...

Ahh, two days and I miss work already. Haha, not that work is super awesomely fun, just that I feel at ease there and I occupy my thought with something other than my life and future. It's hard feeling alone at times, I mean, everyone does go through different things in their life, but I just feel like the situations I get myself into are really a bother. Aish, life does get pretty annoying sometimes eh? :)

Keep looking :)

Seen & Heard...

18.09.09

Just having fun with friends can get really awesome, especially with these bunch of people! Our usual Friday-get-together helps us bond. Well, friends can make you happy or relieve you from stress and boredom, but I think being able to communicate and share almost anything that's in your life and mind is above special. These guys are just the best when it comes to friendship. Not everyone can be reliable and a great group to talk to.










19.09.09

XYZ Leaders' Retreat! @ Kuala Rompin...

Beach side, with a relaxing scenery and refreshing breeze... An escape haven...





26.09.09

I've been working @ Starbucks! It's a part-time job and it's great working there. Well, the hours are real flexible and I learned a whole lot about coffee. Making them to tasting them, knowing the difference in aroma and taste between the different blends. It's definitely an experience that's worth it.



I am really enjoying the work atmosphere and my fellow partners (my colleagues). An interesting bunch of people, friendly, kind, helpful and very genuine. Of course I do get picked on sometimes, I guess it's because I'm the youngest and the new guy but it's all in the fun of it. It's never tiring being at work, just that for me, I get stressed out learning how to work the register, taking orders and making the beverages. But work ain't a breeze and learning is never a walk through the park. I'm just glad i have something to do everyday :)


Keep looking :)

Over The Past One Month

It's amazing how time passes so fast... I can't believe that it's already mid September! Anyway, a lot has been happening and awesome stuff had been done!

29.08.2009

The car crash incident...
On the way to youth, my sis accidentally crashed into a motorcycle while making an illegal U-turn... Door was dented bad and the driver's side window was completely shattered... Thank God no one was injured.



Now I think I'm quite afraid of motorcyclist, especially when they come near your car...

02.09.2009

My mission trip team's thanksgiving dinner @ Carnaval, DJ. Sorry that there aren't any pictures... But the place is awesome... Serving you meat non-stop, nothing can top that. Food is great and the price is reasonable. Meat-lovers must-go-place. :)

06.09.2009

Movie and walking around the night market in TTDI :) Great fun on a Sunday, with Choonyee and Eilyn.



rojak :)


Super amazing food there, in conjunction with the "buka puasa" the food sold there are even more delicious...

samosas...

Eilyn went: What are those? I replied: Samosas... Eilyn: Ooo... What's that? A Famosa's brother ar? Choon and I: T_T



11.09.2009

Gym+Movie+Cookies+Sampat-ing+Cg= AWESOME FUN!!!

Friday morning, the day started out with an intense workout at the church gym for Zhiwei, Deb, Waisan and myself.

We then had lunch and headed straight to 1U for a movie! Gamer was a very smart plotted film. I honestly don't know why some fella hated the show so much... But for me, it was a realisation on human character. The writer sure did express the sickness and cruelty of a human thought and perverseness. As disgusting and wrong some parts of the film were, overall it is an amazing movie, entertaining and good play.

After the movie, we went to Steph's house, where they were baking cookies for us. Hauyon, Vonn and Choonyee were there too... Talking and just spending time together was real good. I couldn't ask for a better Friday. I think I had way too many cookies, I literally felt like puking after consuming like 7 cookies, but I managed to control myself :) We moved our 'session' to the playground opposite. We as usual made fools of ourselves... but who's judging... It was all in the fun of it :)


steph
choonyee
hauyon
waisan
zhiwei
vonn





Then, Zhiwei and I headed to our youth pastor's house for Cg. A great session on the next generation, how we are to rise up and lead the next generation. I was inspired by the video session of City Harvest Church during their Emerge Conference. How they grew in numbers. One part of it that really impacted me was when one of their cg leader in their youth group shared about how they reached out to their members and saw growth in their cg. And all they did was care and spent time with their members. I was amazed at what such little things can do to impact people. I definitely learned a lot, hopefully a time will com where my cg will be impacted as well...

Keep looking :)

Go Genting!

28.08.2009

An incredible trip of fun-filled excitement. GENTING!! After many many years of missing out in the great thrills and fun of Genting theme park, I finally went there! And with this bunch of happening people!


Clockwise: (bottom left) Deb, Zhiwei, me, ShuJian, Steph and Eilyn..



It was really cold, and chilly. And smart me, before entering the theme park, we had Starbucks. And guess who ordered a Blended Dark Mocha... :) But it was really good, the coffee that is... not the cold :)





Lucky for us there wasn't much a crowd in the theme park. So we got to sit rides without a long que, and many many times... My friends went on the Space Shot like 7 times. I only went on twice. Okay, I ain't no thrill seeker and was actually scared shit just thinking about riding it. At last of course I went for it, and it's super awesome!



We also sat the Corkscrew, the one that goes around and you end up upside down, still awesome though... We sat that like 3 times. The other rides weren't as happening as these two though. But I think the freakiest ride for me was the really tame-looking swing. You know the one that goes round and round with you in the swing?



Of course, we also went for a little less life-threatening rides...



As most fun trips goes, an end has to happen. But fear not! For it can always happen again! Looking forward to more fun with you guys!

thanks Steph for the awesome shots...

Keep looking :)